Spotlight on Point of View, Reflecting Narrator, and the Joys of Editing

Elan Barnehama Point of view

Elan Barnehama and Amy Lou Jenkins Discuss:

Point of View

Reflecting Narrators

and the Joys of Revising and Editing

ALJ. Welcome, Elan Barnehama. Your essay “ Showing Up” published inFRIENDS: Voices On The Gift of Companionship brings the opportunity to spotlight some craft issues. 'Showing Up' follows a chronological timeline. Before we focus on  other craft issues, let's look at chronology. Did you consciously choose this structure, or did it evolve out of the experience organically?

Spotlight on Joys of Finding the Story and Editing

BH. My writing tends to evolve during the revision process. I love editing. The re-vision. That’s when I find the unintended story. I like to shift paragraphs around and then rearrange sentences within each graph. And finally, I move words around within sentences to improve impact, rhythm, and meaning.

ALJ. I agree. I also love the editing phase. My first drafts are as ‘shitty’ as Anne Lamott describes in Bird by Bird. But I find a sort of magic can occur when rewriting and editing. We can add meaning and find surprise metaphors to advance and even hints of ideas we didn’t know we owned.  We find the voice of our narrator. You chose an adult narrator looking back, which allowed you to reflect and even use humor.  “If we couldn’t get them (girls) to like us, then we tried to get them to have sex with us.  Equally unsuccessful ventures.” And then in the next paragraph transitioned into “one evening,” easily moving from analysis to story.  Did you consciously decide to use an adult reflecting narrator and how does this compare to the narrative point of view you select for your fiction?

Spotlight on Point of View

EB. It was important to have the POV of looking back as these friendships are special because they have both depth and breadth.

My forthcoming novel, Escape Route, which takes place during the summer of 1969, the time I met these friends, echoes many of our experiences and has a similar first-person narrative voice. While Escape Route is not autobiographical, it has many biographical elements.

ALJ.  You write about yourself with a willingness to expose foibles that create a charming narrator character on the page.  Do you change your narrator voice for different first-person writing pieces and does this evolve from the writing or do you deliberately choose the voice?

EB. I try to create distinct narrative voices. My first novel is written in alternating chapters with third-person limited views of the two main characters who are women. Escape Route is a first-person narrative where I tried to capture the narrator’s age, high school, and the period, 1969, but also, and maybe more importantly, his POV. This meant that the voice evolved as the plot evolved.

Excerpts from Elan Barnehama's "Showing Up" from Friends: Voices On The Gift of Companionship. 

about bonding

"I’d gotten used to being an outsider, hanging out on the margins. But Jimmy and Henry and Sam and Ritchie and the others, they were not outsiders. They were amused by my eyes when it was funny—and did not hesitate to laugh—but mostly they didn’t give a shit. Jimmy maintained that our bond came from not having brothers. Jimmy and Henry didn’t have brothers, but some of us did. What none of us had, were brothers-in-arms, blood-brothers. Calling someone your brother was a thing back then, but for us, it was about family. All families begin with strangers and we had formed our own. Together, triumphs were made sweeter, and defeats were softened." (page 187 paperback)

about being present

"And showing up turns out to be almost everything. It may not be the only thing, but it’s a big thing. I reconnected with Jeff and Larry and the group picked up some worthy stragglers like Steve, but the core remained, self-selected by showing up. There’s been some stints in rehab, some surgeries, some arrests for heroin, one death by overdose, another after a short and one-sided battle with pancreatic cancer, and one was banished for betraying the trust. But Henry’s limitless capacity for fun remains contagious, and Jimmy continues to mock time by playing on two different softball teams at the Great Meadows, in Central Park—hair, no longer being an issue.

extensions

And when Arye, my younger son, decided to leave college to work on his first startup, Henry took him aside. He skipped the conventional business advice and focused on Arye finding people he trusted. Henry showed up for Arye because that is what we do."  (page 188 paperback)

ALJ: We writers love a good turn of phrase.  One of my favorites you used in this essay was “Me, Well I knew I wasn’t smart enough to be smart without school.”  I loved that you put the line at the end of the paragraph, so the reader had a moment to enjoy the line.

Spotlight on the Crafter at Work

Did you work for that phrase or did it just come? Were you structuring your paragraph for impact at the end?

EB: I worked on that sentence for some time. I cut words and moved them around till I ended up with that sentence. It needed the simplicity of the previous sentence to help it work.

ALJ:  Yes, that paragraph works well to evoke the anxiety of the draft during the Vietnam area and in evoking a range of responses to institutions of our society.  You have written about the draft and the idea of formal education. What do these institutions represent for individuals? One in your group doesn’t buy the need to have a formal education, while you see it as a path to something better.  Your story seems to say that you were both making the right choice for yourself without judging the other, and that acceptance of different ways of being is one of the things that makes your story so important.

Bio

Elan Barnehama's second novel, Escape Route (Running Wild 2021) is set in the summer of '69, a year littered with hope and upheaval around the globe. His first novel, Finding Bluefield (2012), chronicles the lives of Nicky and Barbara as they seek love and family during a time when relationships like theirs were mostly hidden and often dangerous.

Elan's words

have appeared in Drunk Monkeys, Rough Cut Press, Boston Accent, Jewish Fiction, Running Wild Press Short Story Anthology, HuffPost, the New York Journal of Books, public radio, and elsewhere. At different times Elan has taught writing, was the fiction editor at Forth Magazine LA, worked with at-risk youth, was a ghostwriter for a university president, coached high school varsity baseball, had a gig as a radio news guy, and did a mediocre job as a short-order cook. He's a New Yorker by geography. A Mets fan by default.

Links to all his publications at elanbarnehama.com. Follow Elan @elanbarnehama.